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Ignore them: they're just flesh wounds - Revenge is a dish best served by police officer. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
sprockets, sockets, grommets & gaskets

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Revenge is a dish best served by police officer. [May. 30th, 2007|05:52 pm]
sprockets, sockets, grommets & gaskets
Inspired by skazat I took a long lunch, rode up to Lyons, and a little ways up US36 towards Estes Park. On the way back to work, I was tooling along a quiet, completely open stretch of road, and heard a HYUUUJ diesel pickup come up behind me and coast. They do this all the time: I bet each driver thinks he's incredibly tricky and inventive -- but it's like fighting someone who is seriously drunk. They telegraph their moves. So, sure enough, he gets up right beside me and then STOMPS on the throttle so the engine lets out with a blistering roar, and the big exhaust pipes belch out enormous clouds of black smoke. As I said, they do this all the time. Just, usually, not when there's a cop car sitting at the next intersection. Before the truck was completely past me, the cop's lights were on -- coz I was doing 5 over the speed limit as it was.

I waved when I passed him, one of those twinkly little pursed-lip, wiggly-finger waves. But inside I was laughing like a maniac.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: firni
2007-05-31 12:10 am (UTC)
I had some country-fried douchebag do something similar to me once, back in my hometown... only he decided it would be funnier to ram his hammy fist on the horn as he passed me, in addition to flooring it.

HAW HAW HAW DID YOU SEE THAT LI'L GIRL TWITCH? Bah gawd, Barney, that was shore funny!
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-05-31 03:44 am (UTC)
I only very rarely throw things at cars. However, quite often I catch up with them at the next stoplight.

I don't believe it's possible to empty a waterbottle into a car's open window with a single squeeze, but you can get very close.
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[User Picture]From: firni
2007-05-31 04:05 am (UTC)
A piss jug into the truck bed would have been entertaining.
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-05-31 05:04 am (UTC)
ODDLY ENOUGH I don't carry those on my bike, but I guess I carry a reasonably acceptable substitute, if I'm fast enough with my aim. I suspect it'd be a pretty Pyrrhic victory, though.
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[User Picture]From: beaq
2007-05-31 01:08 am (UTC)
Best subject line ever.
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-05-31 03:47 am (UTC)
It won out over such contenders as "VINDICATION!" and "Hahahahahahaaaaaaa!"
With a lot of my posts, they're mostly written by the time I get back to the office and actually commit them to paper. Same with my short stories: by the time they see written form I've been through them 15 times, working them out word-for-word. That's one reason I'm such a terrible editor. I feel as though I've already done what was needed.
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From: whapnoggin
2007-05-31 04:25 am (UTC)
Reading these stories is why I'm afraid to ever go out on my bike. Eesh.
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-05-31 05:07 am (UTC)
Eh, you probably wouldn't be riding in really rural, narrow roads, for an hour every day, for years. I think this probably only happens to me about once every thirty hours of riding. It's just that when that happens in a month, it seems pretty frequent.
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[User Picture]From: ebourland
2007-05-31 04:28 am (UTC)
Go man go.
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-05-31 05:07 am (UTC)
Death to the infidel!
Stupid poorly-tuned diesels. They don't HAVE to do that.
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[User Picture]From: skazat
2007-05-31 06:28 am (UTC)
That was me, asshole!


:)

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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-06-01 04:11 am (UTC)
I recognized the porno moustache. That's why I was laughing so hard when I went by: I bet you didn't expect the lead role in a short titled "cop on top".
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[User Picture]From: skazat
2007-06-01 07:12 am (UTC)
I love me a man in uniform.
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[User Picture]From: sno_angel1488
2007-05-31 01:09 pm (UTC)
Poetic justice! How sweet!
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[User Picture]From: randomdreams
2007-06-01 04:12 am (UTC)
It was kind of dieselish, but the aftertaste was sweet.
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From: (Anonymous)
2007-06-01 05:57 am (UTC)

wow...

i just moved out here outside of Boulder from Kansas. I had no idea that stuff happens here too :(
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